USA defeat Iran to move on to knockout stage, eliminate Iran from the World Cup

[u/suzukigun4life]

https://www.fifa.com/fifaplus/en/match-centre/match/17/255711/285063/400235456?date=2022-11-29

[u/Reno277]

Last ten minutes plus stoppage was intense

[u/Mr_McGibblits → u/Reno277]

I don’t think I took a breath lmao. Insane end to the game. Glad the ref blew off the PK Iran was begging for

[u/FleetRiskSolutions → u/Mr_McGibblits]

Took me a few moments to realize he was blowing the final whistle at the end and not awarding a PK.

[u/Impera9 → u/FleetRiskSolutions]

It looked like the Iranians were trying to shove their balls on American foots to get penalty kicks. mind blowing tactics.

[u/ObiWanNowitzki → u/Impera9]

They decided that was more possible than trying to add to their 1 shot on target.

[u/BetterOFFdead007 → u/ObiWanNowitzki]

To go with that single corner kick they had.

[u/whalebacon → u/Impera9]

Yet is was Pulisic's balls that actually took the knee. Man that looked painful.

[u/captaincumsock69 → u/whalebacon]

Is that what happened? At first I thought he got Charlie horsed and then they said it was an abdominal injury.

[u/whalebacon → u/captaincumsock69]

They played it a bunch of times from different angles and as far as I could tell, his 'abdomen' was his balls.

He immediately grabs his junk after the play and grimaces in pain. I guess someone would have to ask him....

[u/freakierchicken → u/whalebacon]

Classic case of abdominal testicles. Affects more people than we realize

[u/--redacted-- → u/freakierchicken]

Abdominals are stored in the balls

[u/slotog → u/--redacted--]

His Abdomen was punched from the inside by his balls.

[u/atp2112 → u/whalebacon]

Well, I'm pretty sure they're saying abdomen in as much as that's where his balls went after that play

[u/originade → u/whalebacon]

To be fair, testicular torsion can cause lower abdominal pain

[u/SafewordisJohnCandy → u/originade]

And back, neck, throat, head, everywhere pain.

[u/NDN_BOI → u/Impera9]

Same that last sequence with the flop was wild

[u/nordic-nomad → u/NDN_BOI]

It felt like if he didn’t dive for the pk he could have gotten a decent shot on goal off. Maybe it was the camera angle but it seemed like a lucky break.

[u/verygoodchoices → u/nordic-nomad]

Yeah he still got a foot on it even with the flop. If he had actually fought through he probably would have scored.

[u/SnipeandCelly24 → u/FleetRiskSolutions]

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE. 😰 The wicked long pause on the broadcast didn’t help to just “he blows his whistle — AND THE GAME IS OVER!”

[u/happydaddyg → u/SnipeandCelly24]

That dude literally just fell over. It’s pathetic and embarrassing. It’s a far better look to be overly aggressive getting cards throw out you and goals overturned than flopping. It’s so pitiful. A little gamesmanship is fine but these soccer guys just take it too far.

There was another Iranian player that went down in top right corner of the field at some point and I legit though he broke his leg at first. You could hear him screaming and see him rolling all over the pitch. It turns out the opponent just came down and grazed him with his cleat and he was up and fine 30 seconds later.

[u/willthefreeman → u/happydaddyg]

That was insane, you could literally hear him on the broadcast. Then he was jogging immediately after, how a grown ass man professional athlete has that little shame when a billion people are watching is insane.

[u/MBG612 → u/Mr_McGibblits]

Ya they were diving like every play at the end

[u/brublanc → u/MBG612]

Indeed. Respects for that referee for not giving in.

[u/StJoeStrummer → u/brublanc]

I didn’t always enjoy what I perceived to be too much lenience with the fouls, but I was glad for it at the end.

[u/Aggressive_Elk3709 → u/StJoeStrummer]

Yeah I think it's a real thing that the bar for the refs to set each match and the main thing that matters is them being consistent

[u/Dandan0005 → u/MBG612]

Should have been a couple cards given for diving tbh

If they were anywhere near an American in the box they were collapsing automatically

[u/reggiestered → u/Dandan0005]

As well as multiple trips in the first half.

[u/Downwhen → u/MBG612]

Little did they know... We come from CONCACAF, baby

[u/capitalsfan → u/Downwhen]

Yup, they weren’t phased by England’s shithousing either

[u/cgmcnama → u/Reno277]

As a casual fan, it's annoying how players kept trying to draw fouls with little to no contact.

[u/empire161 → u/cgmcnama]

It’s not the actual flopping that I hate, every sport has guys doing some exaggerated motions to try and draw a foul. The extra motion draws the ref/ump’s eyes. It’s eyeroll-worthy, but whatever. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

I just don’t understand the facial expressions of acting like they just got their legs blown off storming the beach at Normandy for a solid minute. NFL players fake injuries to slow down drives, NBA players flop to draw a foul, etc. None of them claw their own eyes out in fake agony after the ref is already walking away like soccer players seem to do.

[u/Erected_naps → u/empire161]

when that iranian player went down and you could hear him over evreything because he was screaming like a stuck pig. legitmially screaming like he had snapped his ankle or worse and at the moment I felt for the guy was like damm dude plays his heart out and his career is over when that motherfucker stood up basically on his own not a minute later when the foul did not go his way i felt such an anger its like the guy betrayed me i dont normally care, like you said i get it its part of the game but when your there doing shit like that its just so pathetic and next time when you do get injured im not gonna bat an eye.

[u/CaptGeechNTheSSS → u/Erected_naps]

I really thought he landed wrong and broke his leg or something but of course not

[u/Sly_Wood → u/Erected_naps]

Should be NFL rules. Fake an injury you get subbed out the next play. Seems like I’m soccer subbing is much harder. I don’t know the rules but wouldn’t this essentially stop that shit?

[u/iclimbnaked → u/Sly_Wood]

So in soccer, once you sub off, you can’t come back on.

You can play down a man while the person regroups. Players are forced to do that if trainers come out on the field to limit that.

Honestly I don’t know that there’s a great way to eliminate it.

One thing that I think would help is if they just reviewed games and retroactively handed out red cards for any obvious fakes. Banning the person from their next game. Doubt they’ll ever do that. It’s hard to guarantee someone’s not actually hurt though.

[u/cgmcnama → u/empire161]

Reminds me of the Key and Peele "Futbol Flop" sketch.

[u/sexyshingle → u/cgmcnama]

that skit was straight from the Neymar School of Professional Thespians and Actors Guild.

[u/michilio → u/cgmcnama]

Okay, but who teaches them that?

This guy

[u/dangshnizzle → u/cgmcnama]

As much as I love soccer, getting used to hockey really ruined soccer for me in a lot of ways

[u/bobthebobofbob → u/dangshnizzle]

Yeah, I'm not a big hockey fan, but I do appreciate the "you want to flop? I'll give you something to flop about" attitude the sport has.

[u/role_or_roll → u/dangshnizzle]

It's the refs as well, not calling something unless you do fall. So now you're awarded for flopping

[u/kmc307 → u/role_or_roll]

I’d love to see simulation be called and cautioned much more aggressively. If players start racking up yellows for taking the sniper’s bullet it would stop overnight

[u/Axelrad77 → u/role_or_roll]

Yep, it's a ref-created problem.

I remember years ago, the USA Men had an issue with never drawing fouls because the players didn't like to flop. They'd try to play "tough" and keep running through light contact, trying to make a play, but that just resulted in the other teams getting all the foul calls and having that much more of an advantage. So they had to be coached on when to flop.

[u/Dwychwder → u/cgmcnama]

Iran passed up their best chance of the game to dive in hopes of a penalty. I hate when teams do that. They got what they deserved.

[u/TheBrownMamba8 → u/Reno277]

Was on edge the entire last 20 minutes. Aged at least 5 years in that timeframe.

[u/BeckQuillion89 → u/TheBrownMamba8]

Every player after the whistle was blown just fell to the ground. Everyone was just dead tired.

[u/DrMrRaisinBran]

Zimmerman with that open goal clear holy FUCK

[u/shwasty_faced → u/DrMrRaisinBran]

Zimmerman in the air during those final 10 minutes was fun to watch

[u/DrMrRaisinBran → u/shwasty_faced]

Redemption for hacking Bale off at the knees lol

[u/BlazmoIntoWowee → u/DrMrRaisinBran]

Thank you! When he subbed in I yelled “Don’t do anything dumb!”

[u/ZBGOTRP → u/BlazmoIntoWowee]

Thankfully Moore seems to be channeling most of the dumb our team might otherwise enact. Shame he keeps getting played, though.

[u/SidFarkus47 → u/ZBGOTRP]

Moore has yet to have a single good touch imo. Best case scenario he’s neutral.

Our 4 usual starting defensemen have been amazing. Dest and Robertson Robinson as additional wingers and Ream and Zimmerman as reliable, safe, and smart center backs (Obviously with help from Tyler Adams).

[u/Wulfgang_NSH → u/shwasty_faced]

He had at least eleventy billion clearing headers in the last 15 mins; stout D and a great sub

[u/PaneerTikaMasala → u/Wulfgang_NSH]

Dude is probably concussed to hell and back haha

[u/googolplexy → u/DrMrRaisinBran]

A kid named Zimmerman beat Iran...

[u/gwaydms → u/googolplexy]

Nice bit of Iran-y.

[u/AlwaysOptimism → u/DrMrRaisinBran]

There were so many close calls in those final 20 minutes.

It always seems that whenever teams are in “just don’t let them score” mode, the other team constantly has chances.

[u/f_ranz1224 → u/DrMrRaisinBran]

Redemption for the blunder that cost them vs wales

[u/glibReaper612]

Telemundo goal call.

[u/FunPills → u/glibReaper612]

Telemundo goes so hard

[u/Penis-Butt → u/FunPills]

Every broadcast should just use a crossfader to cut over to the Telemundo audio for every goal then cut back when they run out of steam.

[u/StrangelyOnPoint → u/FunPills]

I kept waiting for the announcer to wrap up the GOOOOOAAAAAAAL call and switch over into a replay breakdown of how the goal happened.

But he’d take a breath and come back with another 30 seconds GGGGGOOOOAAAAALLLL….

It’s fantastic.

[u/Big-Shtick → u/StrangelyOnPoint]

Poor guy was losing his voice, too. Usually they sound like they found out they won the lottery after their divorce judgment was entered.

[u/gigonz → u/FunPills]

Can't deny they make it way more excited than the boring englishmen calling games. Always makes me think of The Simpsons.

https://youtu.be/qjp1Zrvn8VQ

[u/elpapadebatman → u/glibReaper612]

These guys are top notch. It’s been awesome watching these guys on Telemundo broadcasting the English Premier League.

I really can’t find another crew that can compete with at their commentating level, in English or Spanish.

[u/Resoca → u/glibReaper612]

I chose to watch the game in 720p rather than 4k just to hear Cantor call the game. Easy decision.

[u/Ratbello]

This week on Ow! My Balls. We have U.S soccer star Christian Pulisic.

[u/gwaydms → u/Ratbello]

Egads, my nads!

[u/YungBruh69 → u/Ratbello]

Sponsored by Brawndo

[u/NtrlBrnSlyr]

Alright, we won. Iran’s gotta give us their nukes now.

[u/Dont-be-a-smurf → u/NtrlBrnSlyr]

Fair is fair

[u/attorneyatslaw → u/Dont-be-a-smurf]

Rocky IV showed us the way

[u/[deleted] → u/attorneyatslaw]

Rocky IV is a major reason the Cold War ended

[u/ElectricToiletBrush → u/[deleted]]

Rocky single handedly ended the Cold War

[u/Oo0o8o0oO → u/ElectricToiletBrush]

Pretty sure he used both hands.

[u/Spoztoast → u/Oo0o8o0oO]

Honestly it was mostly his face.

[u/AlcoholicInsomniac → u/NtrlBrnSlyr]

I'm not sure if we want our soccer team deciding these things, Brazil is about to get fucking armed to the teeth.

[u/StJoeStrummer → u/AlcoholicInsomniac]

The Dutch are far too peaceful to know what to do with our weapons.

[u/Wuz314159 → u/StJoeStrummer]

If the Dutch win, America gets acceptable levels of public transit & bike lanes.

[u/StJoeStrummer → u/Wuz314159]

Please?

[u/p-zilla → u/AlcoholicInsomniac]

We play the Netherlands next.. the rise of the Dutch as a nuclear power.

[u/mill_about_smartly → u/NtrlBrnSlyr]

Oof. Good thing we didn't lose then

[u/Randomly2 → u/NtrlBrnSlyr]

Ah yes, via the Rocky IV Doctrine. Very standard.

[u/captainrustic → u/[deleted]]

Trying to force a penalty is just so hard to watch.

[u/sassyseconds → u/captainrustic]

Worst part of the sport for a casual watcher like me. Worse than the lack of scores. It's so annoying. There should be a penalty for fake injuries, or if you're worried about people playing through real injuries, if you flop, you're out for medical check for at least 10 minutes. Something like that .

[u/emu_Brute → u/sassyseconds]

There technically is. I think it's also a straight yellow. They just never call it...

[u/datameshlearning → u/emu_Brute]

There really should be a fifth ref watching for flopping to not hold up the game but imagine how satisfying it would be at a small stoppage to see someone get sent off on a second yellow for simulation. It would be considered a hate crime against the Italians tho...

[u/d_hearn → u/sassyseconds]

There is a penalty for flopping, but in high level competition like this it's super seldom called. I wish it were called more frequently. I worry that a player flops, provides a half second distraction while their teammate scores. I don't think I've ever personally seen that happen and maybe it is an unreasonable thing to be worried about, but for me the worry is there.

Even without that worry, though, I wish they would even retroactively give yellows for bad flops after games if warranted. But, like I said, it is so rare to call at this stage, I guess you just have to work with what you've got. Either way, on to Saturday!

[u/chazcope → u/[deleted]]

High quality, no-nonsense Spanish referee Antonio Mateu Lahoz.

[u/JanklinDRoosevelt → u/chazcope]

Lahoz is famous (or infamous) for his nonsense lol, he’s the Spanish Mike Dean

[u/Funkapotamus84 → u/JanklinDRoosevelt]

Does Lahoz slaughter turkeys? #PassThePod

[u/KevinDLasagna → u/JanklinDRoosevelt]

My favorite part of the game was when he made an Iranian player and antonee Robinson shake hands after a slight scuffle lol

[u/10000Didgeridoos → u/KevinDLasagna]

LOOK HIM IN THE EYE. NOW TELL HIM YOU'RE SORRY.

[u/0ut0fBoundsException → u/10000Didgeridoos]

I'm sorry ^{youre such a pussy bitch}

[u/darkhorse298 → u/KevinDLasagna]

Takes me back to my u 16 boys reffing days lol.

[u/SonOfMcGee → u/darkhorse298]

I reffed back in high school. I was comfortable reffing girls all the way up to U18. But I tapped out with boys around U12. That’s when they started just trying to hurt each other and the game of soccer was merely an excuse.

[u/darkhorse298 → u/SonOfMcGee]

Truth. I always busted out the handshake as a way to kinda heat check things and let em both know to watch it. Always funny to see it happen at the highest levels as well.

[u/SonOfMcGee → u/darkhorse298]

U18 girls’ parents would remark how vicious their daughters were and how anyone who thought only boys could be that way should take a look.
And I’d chuckle because it’s all relative. As a ref I got to see the various age groups of each gender play all through middle school and high school.
Compared to some warped idea of girls being gentle and not aggressive at sports at all? Yes, the U18 girls were “vicious”. Compared to the psychopath boys six years younger than them who were getting in fist fights and breaking bones? No, no the U18 girls didn’t seem very violent at all.
It’s not even like they weren’t competitive. They just kept their mind in the game and didn’t pause frequently to mend their offended ego by breaking someone’s body.

[u/OneReportersOpinion → u/chazcope]

Great officiating throughout. A real relief after some of the calls from 8 years ago

[u/ilovecashews → u/OneReportersOpinion]

Real relief of calls 8 DAYS ago. There’s been a lot of play that has been called that shouldn’t. Best officiating I’ve seen of the three matches

[u/mill_about_smartly → u/[deleted]]

Lotta diving going on in the last 10-15 minutes

[u/BowwwwBallll → u/[deleted]]

I don’t know about you, but every time I feel the light touch of a hand brushing my shoulder, I immediately sit down awkwardly and scream in pain.

[u/Tgrand77 → u/BowwwwBallll]

It’s like when you tap a knee and your leg kicks out, light touch to shoulder and both legs flail out, it’s just basic anatomy

[u/zray312]

So fucking happy we won, but holy shit every time Shaq Moore is on the field it feels like a 10v12. Dude needs to be investigated

[u/mrmchugatree → u/zray312]

Dude just causally passes the ball to the other team, like what?

[u/helloyesnoyesnoyesno → u/mrmchugatree]

He won't play for the rest of the tournament, watch

[u/StrngBrew → u/zray312]

He and Wright were as if we had 2 fewer players on the field at the end

[u/BertMcNasty → u/StrngBrew]

Wright should never play again after that "shot" at the end. Wtf are you doing!?!? Dribble it to the corner, pass it across the goal, or take a real fucking shot if you want to be stupid.

[u/hdmetz → u/BertMcNasty]

Clint Dempsey was pretty candid about him after the game. That shot was so stupid. And he had another play at the end where we could’ve had a breakout but he like danced a circle around the ball and allowed the Iranian player to get it

[u/khangaldinho → u/BertMcNasty]

I was so pissed at him for the last 20 mins of that game. Had fresh legs and should’ve been running all over the pitch after that defense but looked so lazy when everyone else was going 110%.

[u/sibekp → u/khangaldinho]

That’s what bothered me the most. He wasn’t playing great but bust your ass to make up for it. He just looked lost. I don’t see him playing again.

[u/sutroheights → u/StrngBrew]

Gio Reyna must have boned his wife.

[u/Vryimpatnt → u/sutroheights]

Found Wynalda's account.

[u/Puck85 → u/sutroheights]

oh god it's 1998 again.

[u/TheBatemanFlex → u/zray312]

“And Shaq Moore….gives it away…

And to Shaq Moore…..and he gives it away…

…to Shaq Moore …..can’t find anyone there…”

At a certain point I could just predict what the announcers were gonna say once I saw that Moore was receiving the ball.

[u/ViagraAndSweatpants → u/TheBatemanFlex]

Dempsey had a great line in post game, “Shaq Moore raised his hand more times to say “My Bad” than he made successful passes”

[u/[deleted] → u/zray312]

If I was American I would never want to seen him in a USA shirt ever again. He was fucking dreadful and looked like he didn’t give a shit when he was subbed on. Shambolic player.

[u/Knock_turnal → u/zray312]

He shouldn’t be sniffing the field against Netherlands. That offense is way more dangerous

[u/WhattheTeenThinks]

Pulisic sacrificed his future kids for the win...

He is truly Captain America

[u/IxReLeNtLesSxl → u/WhattheTeenThinks]

Pulisic’s 2022 WC Goals : 1

Puliisic’s Sperm Count : 0

[u/WhattheTeenThinks → u/IxReLeNtLesSxl]

I am willing to donate a nut for him.

[u/TuaTurnsdaballova → u/WhattheTeenThinks]

Last of his name :(

[u/ObiWanNowitzki → u/WhattheTeenThinks]

That’s America’s Balls!

[u/Toku_no_island → u/WhattheTeenThinks]

I heard it's an abdominal injury and it did look like he got hit in the lower gut so hopefully his future progeny hasn't been cancelled.

[u/RVAforthewin]

Well, at least Iran no longer has to worry about the US posting inaccurate depictions of their flag.

[u/Beatbox_bandit89 → u/RVAforthewin]

Or do they 🇮🇶

[u/El_mochilero]

The US was close to laying 2-3 more goals in the 1st half.

Gotta give the Iranian team credit for putting a lot of pressure on them in the second and coming pretty close to advancing.

[u/aure__entuluva → u/El_mochilero]

That offside on Weah. Yeah, he was off, but it was so damn close. Felt like we had a dozen chances in that first half. So relieved we made it out with the win!

[u/JGoonSquad]

Now on to the Netherlands, and we all know how Nigel Powers feels about the Dutch!!

[u/NerdLawyer55 → u/JGoonSquad]

There’s only 2 things I hate…

[u/onken022 → u/NerdLawyer55]

People intolerant of other cultures

[u/NovaNardis → u/onken022]

And the Dutch.

[u/Hammertime6689]

Love Soccer but when that Iranian was literally screaming so loud you could hear it over the stadium noise I️ thought he broke his leg… proceeds to get up and be in a full sprint 30 seconds later.

I️ get it, game the ref to get a call but don’t be such a bitch about it

[u/Kyoh21 → u/Hammertime6689]

You can see the photographer in the background shaking his head disapprovingly. Hilarious.

[u/dawginphilly → u/Hammertime6689]

Yeah Iran seemed in general to be looking for calls. I don’t know enough about football to say anything else, but it seemed like a lot of overacting

[u/twelfth_knight → u/Hammertime6689]

Seriously. I thought it must be a break or an ACL.

[u/maxjapank]

America was ver impressive first half. Lost their rhythm in the second. But pulled out the win. Very happy.

[u/caniusethisnametoo]

Whoever the US player was that kicked the ball out of the box when it slipped past the keeper needs to be thanked... haven't heard a single thing about it.

[u/k714802 → u/caniusethisnametoo]

Cause he's the same one that gave Wales the PK with his dumbass foul. Good redemption for him this game though

[u/cawvak → u/caniusethisnametoo]

Zimmerman I believe

[u/rjcarr → u/cawvak]

The same guy that had like 10 headers to clear at the end of the game; he'll need to enter concussion protocols.

[u/tdmoney → u/rjcarr]

My dude was out there on a pogo stick.

[u/Sir_Totesmagotes → u/cawvak]

THATS 2 TIME MLS DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR WALKER ZIMMERMAN TO YOU!

[u/TuaTurnsdaballova]

This was stressful AF to watch as someone who doesn’t normally watch soccer.

🪨 🇺🇸 🦅

[u/TheNextBattalion → u/TuaTurnsdaballova]

It was stressful AF for someone who does, too! That's a close game for ya; a potential goal isn't just a point in the making, it's the game in the balance.

[u/sa0sinner → u/TuaTurnsdaballova]

ROCK FLAG AND EAAAAGGLE

[u/Rockrowster → u/[deleted]]

Did I hear a Rock and Stone!?!

[u/mobius-beard → u/Rockrowster]

ROCK. AND. STOOOOOOOONE.

[u/zThrice → u/[deleted]]

ROCK AND STOOOOOOOONE

[u/scizzers91 → u/zThrice]

TO THE BONE

[u/They_Call_Me_Ted → u/sa0sinner]

Right Mac!

[u/originalbiggusdickus → u/sa0sinner]

You’ve got a point!

[u/Smathers → u/originalbiggusdickus]

RISE UP KICK A LITTLE BUTT AND DRIVE A BIG TRUCK

[u/Gurablashta → u/originalbiggusdickus]

Have you seen these fossil records?

[u/iamamuttonhead → u/TuaTurnsdaballova]

It was stressful for someone who watches a lot of PL soccer. This U.S. team is strong defensively but they can't score for shit.

[u/truethatson → u/TuaTurnsdaballova]

I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass, Gonna kick some ass in the USA, Gonna climb a mountain, Gonna sew a flag, Gonna fly on an Eagle, I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, Gonna kick some ass, Gonna rise up, Kick a little ass, ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLE!

[u/Cuntdracula19 → u/truethatson]

ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE

[u/TroyMacClure → u/truethatson]

Team should be wearing Charlie's jean jacket when they come out.

With Hulk Hogan's entrance music playing.

[u/SaveOurBolts]

I’m ordering an extra steak to go on top of my steak tonight

[u/mannpt → u/SaveOurBolts]

Nobody can stop you from ordering two glasses of water to slop those steaks up.

[u/Luke_627 → u/mannpt]

I used to be a piece of shit

[u/Rocketandboom → u/Luke_627]

You call that slicked back?

[u/mannpt → u/Rocketandboom]

Glass house. White couch. Live for new years.

[u/KeisterApartments → u/Rocketandboom]

This is PUSHED BACK

[u/HungryDust → u/mannpt]

LETS SLOP EM UP!!

[u/ThrowThisIntoSol]

How do you pronounce "eliminated?"

[u/PMMeMunicipalPolicy → u/ThrowThisIntoSol]

I think it's "Ear-Rahn"

[u/holymacaronibatman → u/PMMeMunicipalPolicy]

Only if it's from the Iran region of France, otherwise it's sparkling Human Rights Violations.

[u/-PoeticJustice-]

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

[u/WhattheTeenThinks]

The flower fields of Holland aren't ready to experience some American freedom on Saturday.

[u/Cuntdracula19 → u/WhattheTeenThinks]

Rock, flag, and eagle!

[u/Giddyfuzzball]

What a great day for America and therefore the world

[u/lilspankypee → u/Giddyfuzzball]

Ol Pulisic, isn't he ravishing? So pure of heart, so strong in body, so kicked in the balls.

[u/AFineDayForScience → u/lilspankypee]

As is tradition

[u/sa0sinner]

USA 🇺🇸 USA 🇺🇸 USA 🇺🇸

[u/thegrommet → u/sa0sinner]

IRAN JUST GOT SOCCER’D

[u/zeez1011 → u/thegrommet]

THEY JUST GOT LUIGI'D...I THINK...

[u/frankysins → u/thegrommet]

Hahaha holy shit thats the greatest world cup shit talk phrase ever for the US.

YOU JUST GOT SOCCER’D!!!

[u/Chutzvah → u/sa0sinner]

IT'S CALLED SOCCER

[u/RootsRockData]

Stoked we go the win but what the heck was that last 35 minutes. Running ragged on our heels , our subs looked extremely tired? That was pretty miserable. We looked way better thru out the whole game against England.

[u/BadDub → u/RootsRockData]

The players are now 3 games in, all within a few days of each other. They’re putting a crazy amount of effort in. USA folks should be proud of what their team has done so far 😁

[u/DMB_19]

Iran has to call it soccer now

[u/Redplushie → u/DMB_19]

We have to pronounce it as "I ran" now

[u/jand999 → u/Redplushie]

Let's be honest, we already were

[u/thepotatobake]

I love that iran wanted usa expelled from the world cup, then usa knocked them out.

[u/Thunder_Gun_Xpress]

This win dedicated to Khamenei. Eat a dick bitch

[u/killemslowly → u/Thunder_Gun_Xpress]

I want to thank the host… for absolutely nothing.

[u/antfuckr → u/killemslowly]

the double world war champ does what the fuck he wants!

[u/shawnp84]

Today we are all the Great Satan!

[u/Thosepassionfruits → u/shawnp84]

YAMCHA: So, do they know what's going on with his name, or...?

CROWD: Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan!

YAMCHA: Okay, yeah. They know.

[u/MightyBiff]

Someone clip the goalie's face after the ball squirts through his legs with 1min left in extra time LMFAO

[u/captainrustic]

It has to be a really tough day when the great satan itself ends your World Cup run.

[u/throw_away077992]

We send James Corden to Iran, right?

[u/Don_Tiny]

Greatest USA victory vs Iran since January 23, 1984.

[u/Wundei]

The young USA team was incredibly well behaved for the entire game. They were fouled repeatedly and had dives taken on them, yet they just kept to the plan. The ref did a great job of evaluating everything closely and allowing the game to flow naturally. Iran has some excellent players but they struggled with speed and strategy. Holland v US is gonna be a tough game, and England is facing a really impressive Senegal.

[u/29daysuntiltacos]

Started watching at 80 minutes. I don’t know shit about soccer but my heart was beating pretty damn quick the whole time lol. USA USA 🇺🇸

[u/Penrod_Pooch → u/29daysuntiltacos]

I'm the same way with hockey in the Olympics. I don't know what's has happening but, dammit, I'm cheering!