r/sports Nov 29 '22 Silver 2 Gold 3 Helpful 6 Wholesome 4 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Vibing 1 Masterpiece 1 Confetti 1

USA defeat Iran to move on to knockout stage, eliminate Iran from the World Cup Soccer

https://www.fifa.com/fifaplus/en/match-centre/match/17/255711/285063/400235456?date=2022-11-29
45.2k Upvotes

7.8k

u/Reno277 Nov 29 '22

Last ten minutes plus stoppage was intense

3.0k

u/Mr_McGibblits Nov 29 '22

I don’t think I took a breath lmao. Insane end to the game. Glad the ref blew off the PK Iran was begging for

2.0k

u/FleetRiskSolutions Nov 29 '22

Took me a few moments to realize he was blowing the final whistle at the end and not awarding a PK.

1.3k

u/Impera9 Nov 29 '22

It looked like the Iranians were trying to shove their balls on American foots to get penalty kicks. mind blowing tactics.

960

u/ObiWanNowitzki Nov 29 '22

They decided that was more possible than trying to add to their 1 shot on target.

164

u/BetterOFFdead007 Nov 30 '22

To go with that single corner kick they had.

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626

u/whalebacon Nov 29 '22

Yet is was Pulisic's balls that actually took the knee. Man that looked painful.

186

u/captaincumsock69 Nov 29 '22

Is that what happened? At first I thought he got Charlie horsed and then they said it was an abdominal injury.

404

u/whalebacon Nov 29 '22

They played it a bunch of times from different angles and as far as I could tell, his 'abdomen' was his balls.

He immediately grabs his junk after the play and grimaces in pain. I guess someone would have to ask him....

293

u/freakierchicken Nov 29 '22 Gold

Classic case of abdominal testicles. Affects more people than we realize

97

u/--redacted-- Nov 29 '22

Abdominals are stored in the balls

8

u/slotog Nov 29 '22

His Abdomen was punched from the inside by his balls.

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80

u/atp2112 Washington Capitals Nov 29 '22

Well, I'm pretty sure they're saying abdomen in as much as that's where his balls went after that play

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u/originade Nov 29 '22

To be fair, testicular torsion can cause lower abdominal pain

17

u/SafewordisJohnCandy Green Bay Packers Nov 29 '22

And back, neck, throat, head, everywhere pain.

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44

u/NDN_BOI Nov 29 '22

Same that last sequence with the flop was wild

27

u/nordic-nomad Nov 29 '22

It felt like if he didn’t dive for the pk he could have gotten a decent shot on goal off. Maybe it was the camera angle but it seemed like a lucky break.

9

u/verygoodchoices Nov 30 '22

Yeah he still got a foot on it even with the flop. If he had actually fought through he probably would have scored.

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159

u/SnipeandCelly24 Nov 29 '22

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE. 😰 The wicked long pause on the broadcast didn’t help to just “he blows his whistle — AND THE GAME IS OVER!”

196

u/happydaddyg Nov 29 '22

That dude literally just fell over. It’s pathetic and embarrassing. It’s a far better look to be overly aggressive getting cards throw out you and goals overturned than flopping. It’s so pitiful. A little gamesmanship is fine but these soccer guys just take it too far.

There was another Iranian player that went down in top right corner of the field at some point and I legit though he broke his leg at first. You could hear him screaming and see him rolling all over the pitch. It turns out the opponent just came down and grazed him with his cleat and he was up and fine 30 seconds later.

96

u/willthefreeman Nov 30 '22

That was insane, you could literally hear him on the broadcast. Then he was jogging immediately after, how a grown ass man professional athlete has that little shame when a billion people are watching is insane.

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384

u/MBG612 Nov 29 '22

Ya they were diving like every play at the end

313

u/brublanc Nov 29 '22

Indeed. Respects for that referee for not giving in.

72

u/StJoeStrummer Tottenham Hotspur Nov 29 '22

I didn’t always enjoy what I perceived to be too much lenience with the fouls, but I was glad for it at the end.

12

u/Aggressive_Elk3709 Nov 30 '22

Yeah I think it's a real thing that the bar for the refs to set each match and the main thing that matters is them being consistent

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238

u/Dandan0005 Nov 29 '22

Should have been a couple cards given for diving tbh

If they were anywhere near an American in the box they were collapsing automatically

21

u/reggiestered Nov 29 '22

As well as multiple trips in the first half.

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80

u/Downwhen Nov 29 '22

Little did they know... We come from CONCACAF, baby

22

u/capitalsfan Washington Capitals Nov 30 '22

Yup, they weren’t phased by England’s shithousing either

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639

u/cgmcnama Nov 29 '22

As a casual fan, it's annoying how players kept trying to draw fouls with little to no contact.

583

u/empire161 Nov 29 '22

It’s not the actual flopping that I hate, every sport has guys doing some exaggerated motions to try and draw a foul. The extra motion draws the ref/ump’s eyes. It’s eyeroll-worthy, but whatever. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

I just don’t understand the facial expressions of acting like they just got their legs blown off storming the beach at Normandy for a solid minute. NFL players fake injuries to slow down drives, NBA players flop to draw a foul, etc. None of them claw their own eyes out in fake agony after the ref is already walking away like soccer players seem to do.

544

u/Erected_naps Nov 29 '22 Gold

when that iranian player went down and you could hear him over evreything because he was screaming like a stuck pig. legitmially screaming like he had snapped his ankle or worse and at the moment I felt for the guy was like damm dude plays his heart out and his career is over when that motherfucker stood up basically on his own not a minute later when the foul did not go his way i felt such an anger its like the guy betrayed me i dont normally care, like you said i get it its part of the game but when your there doing shit like that its just so pathetic and next time when you do get injured im not gonna bat an eye.

79

u/CaptGeechNTheSSS Nov 30 '22

I really thought he landed wrong and broke his leg or something but of course not

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116

u/Sly_Wood Nov 29 '22

Should be NFL rules. Fake an injury you get subbed out the next play. Seems like I’m soccer subbing is much harder. I don’t know the rules but wouldn’t this essentially stop that shit?

116

u/iclimbnaked Nov 29 '22

So in soccer, once you sub off, you can’t come back on.

You can play down a man while the person regroups. Players are forced to do that if trainers come out on the field to limit that.

Honestly I don’t know that there’s a great way to eliminate it.

One thing that I think would help is if they just reviewed games and retroactively handed out red cards for any obvious fakes. Banning the person from their next game. Doubt they’ll ever do that. It’s hard to guarantee someone’s not actually hurt though.

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u/cgmcnama Nov 29 '22

Reminds me of the Key and Peele "Futbol Flop" sketch.

30

u/sexyshingle Nov 29 '22

that skit was straight from the Neymar School of Professional Thespians and Actors Guild.

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18

u/michilio Nov 29 '22

Okay, but who teaches them that?

This guy

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373

u/dangshnizzle Chicago Blackhawks Nov 29 '22

As much as I love soccer, getting used to hockey really ruined soccer for me in a lot of ways

73

u/bobthebobofbob Nov 29 '22

Yeah, I'm not a big hockey fan, but I do appreciate the "you want to flop? I'll give you something to flop about" attitude the sport has.

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u/role_or_roll Nov 29 '22

It's the refs as well, not calling something unless you do fall. So now you're awarded for flopping

60

u/kmc307 Nov 29 '22

I’d love to see simulation be called and cautioned much more aggressively. If players start racking up yellows for taking the sniper’s bullet it would stop overnight

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u/Axelrad77 Nov 30 '22

Yep, it's a ref-created problem.

I remember years ago, the USA Men had an issue with never drawing fouls because the players didn't like to flop. They'd try to play "tough" and keep running through light contact, trying to make a play, but that just resulted in the other teams getting all the foul calls and having that much more of an advantage. So they had to be coached on when to flop.

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57

u/Dwychwder Nov 29 '22

Iran passed up their best chance of the game to dive in hopes of a penalty. I hate when teams do that. They got what they deserved.

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121

u/TheBrownMamba8 Nov 29 '22

Was on edge the entire last 20 minutes. Aged at least 5 years in that timeframe.

34

u/BeckQuillion89 Nov 29 '22

Every player after the whistle was blown just fell to the ground. Everyone was just dead tired.

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2.8k

u/DrMrRaisinBran Nov 29 '22

Zimmerman with that open goal clear holy FUCK

1.3k

u/shwasty_faced Nov 29 '22

Zimmerman in the air during those final 10 minutes was fun to watch

662

u/DrMrRaisinBran Nov 29 '22

Redemption for hacking Bale off at the knees lol

255

u/BlazmoIntoWowee Philadelphia Phillies Nov 29 '22

Thank you! When he subbed in I yelled “Don’t do anything dumb!”

60

u/ZBGOTRP Nov 30 '22

Thankfully Moore seems to be channeling most of the dumb our team might otherwise enact. Shame he keeps getting played, though.

18

u/SidFarkus47 Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Moore has yet to have a single good touch imo. Best case scenario he’s neutral.

Our 4 usual starting defensemen have been amazing. Dest and Robertson Robinson as additional wingers and Ream and Zimmerman as reliable, safe, and smart center backs (Obviously with help from Tyler Adams).

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155

u/Wulfgang_NSH Nov 29 '22

He had at least eleventy billion clearing headers in the last 15 mins; stout D and a great sub

53

u/PaneerTikaMasala Nov 29 '22

Dude is probably concussed to hell and back haha

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u/googolplexy Nov 29 '22

A kid named Zimmerman beat Iran...

17

u/gwaydms Dallas Cowboys Nov 30 '22

Nice bit of Iran-y.

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u/AlwaysOptimism Nov 29 '22

There were so many close calls in those final 20 minutes.

It always seems that whenever teams are in “just don’t let them score” mode, the other team constantly has chances.

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u/f_ranz1224 Nov 29 '22

Redemption for the blunder that cost them vs wales

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849

u/glibReaper612 Nov 29 '22 Helpful

416

u/FunPills Nov 29 '22

Telemundo goes so hard

82

u/Penis-Butt Nov 30 '22

Every broadcast should just use a crossfader to cut over to the Telemundo audio for every goal then cut back when they run out of steam.

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u/StrangelyOnPoint Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

I kept waiting for the announcer to wrap up the GOOOOOAAAAAAAL call and switch over into a replay breakdown of how the goal happened.

But he’d take a breath and come back with another 30 seconds GGGGGOOOOAAAAALLLL….

It’s fantastic.

49

u/Big-Shtick Nov 30 '22

Poor guy was losing his voice, too. Usually they sound like they found out they won the lottery after their divorce judgment was entered.

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u/gigonz Nov 29 '22

Can't deny they make it way more excited than the boring englishmen calling games. Always makes me think of The Simpsons.

https://youtu.be/qjp1Zrvn8VQ

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u/elpapadebatman Nov 30 '22

These guys are top notch. It’s been awesome watching these guys on Telemundo broadcasting the English Premier League.

I really can’t find another crew that can compete with at their commentating level, in English or Spanish.

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u/Resoca Nov 29 '22

I chose to watch the game in 720p rather than 4k just to hear Cantor call the game. Easy decision.

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567

u/Ratbello Nov 29 '22

This week on Ow! My Balls. We have U.S soccer star Christian Pulisic.

88

u/gwaydms Dallas Cowboys Nov 30 '22

Egads, my nads!

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u/YungBruh69 Nov 30 '22

Sponsored by Brawndo

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4.4k

u/NtrlBrnSlyr Nov 29 '22 Silver

Alright, we won. Iran’s gotta give us their nukes now.

1.1k

u/Dont-be-a-smurf Nov 29 '22

Fair is fair

489

u/attorneyatslaw Nov 29 '22 Silver

Rocky IV showed us the way

194

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Rocky IV is a major reason the Cold War ended

88

u/ElectricToiletBrush Nov 29 '22

Rocky single handedly ended the Cold War

63

u/Oo0o8o0oO Nov 29 '22

Pretty sure he used both hands.

13

u/Spoztoast Nov 29 '22

Honestly it was mostly his face.

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162

u/AlcoholicInsomniac Nov 29 '22

I'm not sure if we want our soccer team deciding these things, Brazil is about to get fucking armed to the teeth.

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u/StJoeStrummer Tottenham Hotspur Nov 29 '22

The Dutch are far too peaceful to know what to do with our weapons.

51

u/Wuz314159 Philadelphia Union Nov 30 '22

If the Dutch win, America gets acceptable levels of public transit & bike lanes.

22

u/StJoeStrummer Tottenham Hotspur Nov 30 '22

Please?

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19

u/p-zilla Nebraska Nov 29 '22

We play the Netherlands next.. the rise of the Dutch as a nuclear power.

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u/mill_about_smartly Nov 29 '22

Oof. Good thing we didn't lose then

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u/Randomly2 Nov 29 '22

Ah yes, via the Rocky IV Doctrine. Very standard.

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3.9k

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[deleted]

562

u/captainrustic Nov 29 '22

Trying to force a penalty is just so hard to watch.

409

u/sassyseconds Nov 29 '22

Worst part of the sport for a casual watcher like me. Worse than the lack of scores. It's so annoying. There should be a penalty for fake injuries, or if you're worried about people playing through real injuries, if you flop, you're out for medical check for at least 10 minutes. Something like that .

131

u/emu_Brute Nov 29 '22

There technically is. I think it's also a straight yellow. They just never call it...

38

u/datameshlearning Nov 30 '22

There really should be a fifth ref watching for flopping to not hold up the game but imagine how satisfying it would be at a small stoppage to see someone get sent off on a second yellow for simulation. It would be considered a hate crime against the Italians tho...

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u/d_hearn Nov 30 '22

There is a penalty for flopping, but in high level competition like this it's super seldom called. I wish it were called more frequently. I worry that a player flops, provides a half second distraction while their teammate scores. I don't think I've ever personally seen that happen and maybe it is an unreasonable thing to be worried about, but for me the worry is there.

Even without that worry, though, I wish they would even retroactively give yellows for bad flops after games if warranted. But, like I said, it is so rare to call at this stage, I guess you just have to work with what you've got. Either way, on to Saturday!

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1.8k

u/chazcope Nov 29 '22

High quality, no-nonsense Spanish referee Antonio Mateu Lahoz.

779

u/JanklinDRoosevelt Nov 29 '22

Lahoz is famous (or infamous) for his nonsense lol, he’s the Spanish Mike Dean

73

u/Funkapotamus84 Nov 29 '22

Does Lahoz slaughter turkeys? #PassThePod

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u/KevinDLasagna Nov 29 '22

My favorite part of the game was when he made an Iranian player and antonee Robinson shake hands after a slight scuffle lol

85

u/10000Didgeridoos Nov 29 '22

LOOK HIM IN THE EYE. NOW TELL HIM YOU'RE SORRY.

35

u/0ut0fBoundsException Nov 29 '22

I'm sorry youre such a pussy bitch

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u/darkhorse298 Nov 29 '22

Takes me back to my u 16 boys reffing days lol.

20

u/SonOfMcGee Nov 30 '22

I reffed back in high school. I was comfortable reffing girls all the way up to U18. But I tapped out with boys around U12. That’s when they started just trying to hurt each other and the game of soccer was merely an excuse.

10

u/darkhorse298 Nov 30 '22

Truth. I always busted out the handshake as a way to kinda heat check things and let em both know to watch it. Always funny to see it happen at the highest levels as well.

15

u/SonOfMcGee Nov 30 '22

U18 girls’ parents would remark how vicious their daughters were and how anyone who thought only boys could be that way should take a look.
And I’d chuckle because it’s all relative. As a ref I got to see the various age groups of each gender play all through middle school and high school.
Compared to some warped idea of girls being gentle and not aggressive at sports at all? Yes, the U18 girls were “vicious”. Compared to the psychopath boys six years younger than them who were getting in fist fights and breaking bones? No, no the U18 girls didn’t seem very violent at all.
It’s not even like they weren’t competitive. They just kept their mind in the game and didn’t pause frequently to mend their offended ego by breaking someone’s body.

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u/OneReportersOpinion Nov 29 '22

Great officiating throughout. A real relief after some of the calls from 8 years ago

28

u/ilovecashews Nov 30 '22

Real relief of calls 8 DAYS ago. There’s been a lot of play that has been called that shouldn’t. Best officiating I’ve seen of the three matches

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u/mill_about_smartly Nov 29 '22

Lotta diving going on in the last 10-15 minutes

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u/BowwwwBallll Nov 29 '22

I don’t know about you, but every time I feel the light touch of a hand brushing my shoulder, I immediately sit down awkwardly and scream in pain.

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u/Tgrand77 Nov 29 '22

It’s like when you tap a knee and your leg kicks out, light touch to shoulder and both legs flail out, it’s just basic anatomy

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1.1k

u/zray312 Nov 29 '22

So fucking happy we won, but holy shit every time Shaq Moore is on the field it feels like a 10v12. Dude needs to be investigated

240

u/mrmchugatree Nov 29 '22

Dude just causally passes the ball to the other team, like what?

30

u/helloyesnoyesnoyesno Nov 30 '22

He won't play for the rest of the tournament, watch

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419

u/StrngBrew Nov 29 '22

He and Wright were as if we had 2 fewer players on the field at the end

394

u/BertMcNasty Nov 29 '22

Wright should never play again after that "shot" at the end. Wtf are you doing!?!? Dribble it to the corner, pass it across the goal, or take a real fucking shot if you want to be stupid.

134

u/hdmetz Nov 30 '22

Clint Dempsey was pretty candid about him after the game. That shot was so stupid. And he had another play at the end where we could’ve had a breakout but he like danced a circle around the ball and allowed the Iranian player to get it

94

u/khangaldinho Nov 30 '22

I was so pissed at him for the last 20 mins of that game. Had fresh legs and should’ve been running all over the pitch after that defense but looked so lazy when everyone else was going 110%.

29

u/sibekp Nov 30 '22

That’s what bothered me the most. He wasn’t playing great but bust your ass to make up for it. He just looked lost. I don’t see him playing again.

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u/sutroheights Nov 29 '22

Gio Reyna must have boned his wife.

18

u/Vryimpatnt Nov 29 '22

Found Wynalda's account.

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16

u/Puck85 Columbus Crew SC Nov 29 '22

oh god it's 1998 again.

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u/TheBatemanFlex Nov 29 '22 Table Slap

“And Shaq Moore….gives it away…

And to Shaq Moore…..and he gives it away…

…to Shaq Moore …..can’t find anyone there…”

At a certain point I could just predict what the announcers were gonna say once I saw that Moore was receiving the ball.

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u/ViagraAndSweatpants Nov 30 '22

Dempsey had a great line in post game, “Shaq Moore raised his hand more times to say “My Bad” than he made successful passes”

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

If I was American I would never want to seen him in a USA shirt ever again. He was fucking dreadful and looked like he didn’t give a shit when he was subbed on. Shambolic player.

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u/Knock_turnal Nov 30 '22

He shouldn’t be sniffing the field against Netherlands. That offense is way more dangerous

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2.5k

u/WhattheTeenThinks Nov 29 '22

Pulisic sacrificed his future kids for the win...

He is truly Captain America

976

u/IxReLeNtLesSxl Nov 29 '22 Wholesome

Pulisic’s 2022 WC Goals : 1

Puliisic’s Sperm Count : 0

207

u/WhattheTeenThinks Nov 29 '22

I am willing to donate a nut for him.

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168

u/ObiWanNowitzki Nov 29 '22

That’s America’s Balls!

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u/Toku_no_island Nov 29 '22

I heard it's an abdominal injury and it did look like he got hit in the lower gut so hopefully his future progeny hasn't been cancelled.

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419

u/RVAforthewin Georgia Nov 29 '22 Silver

Well, at least Iran no longer has to worry about the US posting inaccurate depictions of their flag.

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u/El_mochilero Nov 29 '22

The US was close to laying 2-3 more goals in the 1st half.

Gotta give the Iranian team credit for putting a lot of pressure on them in the second and coming pretty close to advancing.

65

u/aure__entuluva Nov 30 '22

That offside on Weah. Yeah, he was off, but it was so damn close. Felt like we had a dozen chances in that first half. So relieved we made it out with the win!

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u/JGoonSquad Nov 29 '22

Now on to the Netherlands, and we all know how Nigel Powers feels about the Dutch!!

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u/NerdLawyer55 Nov 29 '22

There’s only 2 things I hate…

71

u/onken022 Nov 30 '22

People intolerant of other cultures

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1.0k

u/Hammertime6689 Nov 29 '22

Love Soccer but when that Iranian was literally screaming so loud you could hear it over the stadium noise I️ thought he broke his leg… proceeds to get up and be in a full sprint 30 seconds later.

I️ get it, game the ref to get a call but don’t be such a bitch about it

263

u/Kyoh21 Nov 29 '22

You can see the photographer in the background shaking his head disapprovingly. Hilarious.

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u/dawginphilly Nov 29 '22

Yeah Iran seemed in general to be looking for calls. I don’t know enough about football to say anything else, but it seemed like a lot of overacting

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u/twelfth_knight Nov 30 '22

Seriously. I thought it must be a break or an ACL.

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u/maxjapank Nov 29 '22

America was ver impressive first half. Lost their rhythm in the second. But pulled out the win. Very happy.

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u/caniusethisnametoo Nov 29 '22

Whoever the US player was that kicked the ball out of the box when it slipped past the keeper needs to be thanked... haven't heard a single thing about it.

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u/k714802 Nov 29 '22

Cause he's the same one that gave Wales the PK with his dumbass foul. Good redemption for him this game though

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u/cawvak Nov 29 '22

Zimmerman I believe

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u/rjcarr Nov 29 '22

The same guy that had like 10 headers to clear at the end of the game; he'll need to enter concussion protocols.

73

u/tdmoney Nov 29 '22

My dude was out there on a pogo stick.

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u/Sir_Totesmagotes Nov 29 '22

THATS 2 TIME MLS DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR WALKER ZIMMERMAN TO YOU!

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1.6k

u/TuaTurnsdaballova Nov 29 '22

This was stressful AF to watch as someone who doesn’t normally watch soccer.

🪨 🇺🇸 🦅

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u/TheNextBattalion Nov 29 '22

It was stressful AF for someone who does, too! That's a close game for ya; a potential goal isn't just a point in the making, it's the game in the balance.

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1.0k

u/sa0sinner San Francisco 49ers Nov 29 '22 Silver Helpful

ROCK FLAG AND EAAAAGGLE

183

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[deleted]

17

u/Rockrowster Nov 29 '22

Did I hear a Rock and Stone!?!

11

u/mobius-beard Nov 29 '22

ROCK. AND. STOOOOOOOONE.

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u/zThrice Liverpool Nov 29 '22

ROCK AND STOOOOOOOONE

19

u/scizzers91 Nov 29 '22

TO THE BONE

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u/originalbiggusdickus Nov 29 '22

You’ve got a point!

48

u/Smathers Nov 29 '22

RISE UP KICK A LITTLE BUTT AND DRIVE A BIG TRUCK

30

u/Gurablashta Nov 29 '22

Have you seen these fossil records?

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u/iamamuttonhead Nov 29 '22

It was stressful for someone who watches a lot of PL soccer. This U.S. team is strong defensively but they can't score for shit.

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u/truethatson Nov 29 '22

I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass, Gonna kick some ass in the USA, Gonna climb a mountain, Gonna sew a flag, Gonna fly on an Eagle, I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, Gonna kick some ass, Gonna rise up, Kick a little ass, ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLE!

16

u/TroyMacClure Nov 29 '22

Team should be wearing Charlie's jean jacket when they come out.

With Hulk Hogan's entrance music playing.

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308

u/SaveOurBolts San Diego Padres Nov 29 '22

I’m ordering an extra steak to go on top of my steak tonight

150

u/mannpt Kansas City Royals Nov 29 '22

Nobody can stop you from ordering two glasses of water to slop those steaks up.

63

u/Luke_627 Nov 29 '22

I used to be a piece of shit

29

u/Rocketandboom Nov 29 '22

You call that slicked back?

25

u/mannpt Kansas City Royals Nov 29 '22

Glass house. White couch. Live for new years.

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u/KeisterApartments Nov 30 '22

This is PUSHED BACK

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u/HungryDust Nov 30 '22

LETS SLOP EM UP!!

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u/ThrowThisIntoSol Nov 29 '22 Gold

How do you pronounce "eliminated?"

304

u/PMMeMunicipalPolicy Nov 29 '22

I think it's "Ear-Rahn"

103

u/holymacaronibatman Philadelphia Eagles Nov 29 '22

Only if it's from the Iran region of France, otherwise it's sparkling Human Rights Violations.

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252

u/WhattheTeenThinks Nov 29 '22

The flower fields of Holland aren't ready to experience some American freedom on Saturday.

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1.5k

u/Giddyfuzzball Nov 29 '22 Silver hehehehe

What a great day for America and therefore the world

337

u/lilspankypee Nov 29 '22

Ol Pulisic, isn't he ravishing? So pure of heart, so strong in body, so kicked in the balls.

106

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/AFineDayForScience Nov 29 '22

As is tradition

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1.0k

u/sa0sinner San Francisco 49ers Nov 29 '22 Gold

USA 🇺🇸 USA 🇺🇸 USA 🇺🇸

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u/thegrommet Nov 29 '22

IRAN JUST GOT SOCCER’D

35

u/zeez1011 Nov 29 '22

THEY JUST GOT LUIGI'D...I THINK...

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u/frankysins Nov 30 '22

Hahaha holy shit thats the greatest world cup shit talk phrase ever for the US.

YOU JUST GOT SOCCER’D!!!

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u/Chutzvah Chicago Bears Nov 29 '22

IT'S CALLED SOCCER

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u/RootsRockData Nov 29 '22

Stoked we go the win but what the heck was that last 35 minutes. Running ragged on our heels , our subs looked extremely tired? That was pretty miserable. We looked way better thru out the whole game against England.

188

u/BadDub Nov 29 '22

The players are now 3 games in, all within a few days of each other. They’re putting a crazy amount of effort in. USA folks should be proud of what their team has done so far 😁

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u/DMB_19 Nov 29 '22

Iran has to call it soccer now

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u/Redplushie Nov 29 '22

We have to pronounce it as "I ran" now

78

u/jand999 Nov 29 '22

Let's be honest, we already were

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u/thepotatobake Nov 29 '22

I love that iran wanted usa expelled from the world cup, then usa knocked them out.

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u/Thunder_Gun_Xpress Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

This win dedicated to Khamenei. Eat a dick bitch

172

u/killemslowly Nov 29 '22

I want to thank the host… for absolutely nothing.

58

u/antfuckr Nov 29 '22

the double world war champ does what the fuck he wants!

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u/shawnp84 Nov 29 '22 Helpful

Today we are all the Great Satan!

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u/Thosepassionfruits Nov 29 '22

YAMCHA: So, do they know what's going on with his name, or...?

CROWD: Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan!

YAMCHA: Okay, yeah. They know.

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u/MightyBiff Nov 29 '22

Someone clip the goalie's face after the ball squirts through his legs with 1min left in extra time LMFAO

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u/captainrustic Nov 29 '22

It has to be a really tough day when the great satan itself ends your World Cup run.

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u/throw_away077992 Nov 30 '22

We send James Corden to Iran, right?

59

u/Don_Tiny Nov 29 '22

Greatest USA victory vs Iran since January 23, 1984.

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u/Wundei Nov 29 '22

The young USA team was incredibly well behaved for the entire game. They were fouled repeatedly and had dives taken on them, yet they just kept to the plan. The ref did a great job of evaluating everything closely and allowing the game to flow naturally. Iran has some excellent players but they struggled with speed and strategy. Holland v US is gonna be a tough game, and England is facing a really impressive Senegal.

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u/29daysuntiltacos Nov 29 '22

Started watching at 80 minutes. I don’t know shit about soccer but my heart was beating pretty damn quick the whole time lol. USA USA 🇺🇸

48

u/Penrod_Pooch Nov 29 '22

I'm the same way with hockey in the Olympics. I don't know what's has happening but, dammit, I'm cheering!

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